From high to low feeling and I didn’t know why

You know those days, the ones where you’re absolutely winning, signing new clients, dollars flowing in, ticking things off your task list! You feel on top of the world right! 

It was a Wednesday, and I was having one of those days…, it was late afternoon, so I met Belle, my biz wifey, for our bi-weekly walk around Lake Monger where I floated around the lake as we each shared and celebrated our wins – it was amazing!

But when I got home, all of a sudden, I just had this wave of depression wash over me and I felt really low – um hello where did this feeling come from and why are you here?! But I couldn’t shake it.

Me being me, I went into analysis mode as I didn’t understand what was going on because I’d had such a great day and a week full of wins.

As I was rolling through the events and processing, I realised I was constantly chasing dopamine hits, every win pumped me full of the good feelings making me feel sky high. I was frothing that external validation confirming how good I am at what I do with lots of people booking in to work with me (easily).

SIDENOTE: I know that I’m not alone in coexisting with that shadow of self-doubt from time to time, the lurking of Mr. Imposter Syndrome and chasing those feel-good dopamine hits that quickly launch us back into the stratosphere of #icandothis business attitude.

As I sat on my bed… I trawled through the events of the past few weeks. I’d just come from going, “oh wow, I actually haven’t got a pipeline of leads or clients coming in” to being booked out for the next 2 months.

So, I know I was definitely dopamine hit chasing for validation and confirmation that yep, I can do this. One minute I didn’t know what was happening financially, then all of a sudden, I had all these clients book in. It completely changed my energy and gave me that affirmation I was craving.

But here’s the thing about highs – what goes up must come down. When you come from a high, there is only one direction you eventually go – down. And in that void after the rush fades, there’s this feeling of emptiness. That’s what was making me feel low and it just made me go, wow!

I had an epiphany – if I’m constantly chasing dopamine hits, that means I’m always seeking highs, which will then be followed by lows. Which means, I’m always going to be on this roller coaster and never feeling emotionally steady.

Instead of that life – what if I didn’t rely on external validation. What if I just trusted that yes, I am really good at what I do?! And then when clients sign on, it’s just confirmation of that belief – I don’t need to look for my next hit because I already trust who I am.

What if I reframed things like that and stayed on a much more even keel instead of riding those emotional waves? So, this is what I am now actively focusing on.

I share this with you because I know others experience this same thing. Chasing validation, feeling on top of the world then crashing and battling with imposter syndrome – no matter what level we’re at.

I’ll let you have your own reflections (would love to hear them).

But what I learnt is to start trust myself first, know my own worth and stop attaching it to external outcomes. Let everything just be confirmation of what I already know.

Speak Soon

Cassandra